Sunday's Heart Start: Being a Champion for a Child

I forget how exhausting the beginning of the year is. I also forget how quickly the 20 cutie pies God placed in my room can capture my heart. The beginning of the year  is also a time I find myself thinking of "my babies" that are no longer at my school. At Meet the Teacher, I heard news about one of my babies that just broke my heart...and left me wondering what this school year would be like for him.

I recently talked to a friend that was getting a new student. She told me about how the mom walked into the room and the first thing she said to her was that her daughter was bad. This was in front of the child! This child has no positive expectations to live up to. Why try and be good if her mom thinks she is bad? :(

I often do not want to know about behavior problems from the previous year because we all want a fresh start. Plus, there are so many factors that can add up to a child have a difficult year....especially in terms of his/her behavior.

As teachers, we know without a doubt that we will have difficult and challenging students. Students that leave us doubting and questioning if we are doing a good job. We find ourselves crying over these students and feeling frustrated and helpless in dealing with them and still trying to teach our other 19 students. Their parents often do not know what to do to help their child or the parent might want to put blame on the teacher and the school.

I find myself realizing I need to try and be the one to build the bridge to their heart. Rita Pierson said in best in her TED Talk.

I tell my kiddos often that if I didn't care about them I would not care how they acted. I also tell them that until they get on the bus or in their car on the last day of school that I will be expecting and helping them to be their best. As we work on building relationships, I want my students to feel safe enough to be able to tell me if they don't feel that I care about them or if I have hurt their feelings.

Rita Pierson said in her TED Talk that "students don't learn from teachers they don't like." This is true and can be difficult when we have students that we find difficult to like. So, this when when we need to be trying to plan those engaging lessons and providing opportunities for the class to laugh together....and as Rita said, "become a good actor and act like we do like them!" Lol!

So many of our kiddos that have behavior issues often have more baggage than we do as grown-ups. I cannot even fathom what they have been through and seen. They often put up this "tough" facade to keep from being hurt again or as a way to cry out for love.

Our kiddos just need to know that we are going to be there for them. This song always makes me think of the kind of teacher I want to try and be.

Now, I also think I need to go out and adopt a new pet. :)

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Here is Rita Pierson's TED Talk.

As you walk into your classroom each day, you work to cover your objectives and each item on your lesson plans. But I think it is important to remember, that before we reach their heads we must touch their hearts. We need to be the champion that says "I'm never going to let you down or give up on you."

From My Heart to Yours,

Your Class List: Whine and Wine

Do you get a class list before school starts? I don't know about you but I am always anxious to look at my class list to see if I will be getting the annoying sweet younger sibling I have heard stories about. My heart also skips a beat with fear joy for "that student" that I have been hearing about that is just a "perfect fit" for my room. That is when you run to your teacher buddies and start the WHINE of "You'll never believe who I have in my room!" or "Oh My Gosh!!! Let me tell you about this kid that's going to be in my room this year!" And when you go home that's when you pull out the BIG WINE glass!

Click on the picture if you want to check it out!

Now, I am giggling as I type this and trying to bring a little humor to thoughts you and I just might have felt before. My Firsties go to Kinder at another campus so I really don't recognize some of the names. But when you have taught for a long time you eventually DO HAVE siblings and cousins AND see names that bring flashbacks that cause you to twitch! There are times when I try and use my phonics knowledge to decipher a name that I am anxious I will not be able to pronounce correctly. And I already feel bad for the kiddo that I am sure will have to help me numerous times say his/her name correctly.

At Meet the Teacher, I have a special system of codes I mark next to the names on my list of students that I am meeting. There have been numerous times when I have watched in fear as child has hit his mother on the head numerous times with a HUGE pointer and did not stop when he was told to....or when a child seems so active that I am ready to tell the mom that I am happy to drive her to the doctor to see if the child might need a prescription for some calming "vitamins". And those 2 times were like the children had been invaded by the Body Snatchers because the kiddos that showed up on the first day of school were sweet, obedient, calm, and respectful.

There have been countless times when I have sadly been judgmental and let a bad attitude get in the way of seeing a child the way that God does...and the way He sees me. What gives me the right to judge a student on what they are not when I am so thankful and blessed that God does not judge me by my short comings??!!??!!??

We are always going to have students that challenge us. There have been years when that challenge has left me in tears, frustration, and a state of feeling completely helpless. There have been times when I breathed a sigh of relief when that child was absent because the entire dynamics of my classroom changed but at the same time felt horrible for feeling that way.

Many of these challenging kiddos come with more baggage than we have even carried as an adult. For some, school is their safe haven. And whether we realize it or not, these kiddos are often VERY perceptive and can pick up the vibes we give off.

I remember the child that completely changed my whine and wine. He was retained and put back in my class for his second year. I vented to a friend that I was very upset he was in my room again. I was going into my 4th year of teaching and was able to attend a Ruby Payne workshop that fall. It changed my teaching and my heart forever. God knew I needed that workshop so He could show HIS love through me to some of the people who needed it the most. She said something that I also learned again when I read about Conscious Discipline. Are you ready for this???

And this is another wonderful reminder...

The student I mentioned above completely lost it on the last day of school of his second year in my room. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me he was going to miss being around someone who loved him as much as I did. He gave me many, many, MANY opportunities for me to practice patience yet he still knew I loved him. At the time I saw his name on my list for the second time, I did not want him in my class but I am blessed that God gave him to me again.

I am not perfect and still feel frustrated and helpless when I don't know how to help a child that is crying out for love. I then have to remember God put each child in my room for a reason...to love that child with all of my heart and help that child be successful in every way possible. And in the end, it is often me that has learned a valuable lesson from God.

I pray that as we start a new school year that we remember this:

Thank you for stopping by for this week's Heart Start!

From My Heart to Yours,

Sunday's Heart Start: Pause and Pray

As I get ready to start a new school year, I am overcome by so many emotions. The beginning of the school year is so exciting but also stressful. I know we sit in teacher meetings wanting to flee to our classrooms and mentally adding things to a To-Do List that seems to grow and grow and GROW! We are juggling our lives at home with our lives at school and we often neglect taking care of ourselves.

As much excitement as there tends to be, there is also a bit of negativity and complaining...and I raise my hand that I have been there and whined that! I often forget that my principal is being told a BIG list of things she must do with us and my complaining about it does not make it any better. I know when I have heard some of my kiddos in class grumble about something they have to do we stop and talk about our attitudes and about showing respect. Yet, as grown-ups we are horrible about it.

I know at the beginning of the year, doubt creeps into my heart. I stare at my new little group only remembering how I left my previous group in May. I wonder if they will ever behave, listen, learn to read, follow directions, and show helpfulness and kindness like my group last year.

I look at the kiddo that I know will try my patience and wonder if I am going to develop a drinking problem! Lol!

I get irritated with others I work with yet I forget to look at myself and realize I am irritating others by my own behaviors.

I get caught up in the emotions of situations and react instead of being proactive. I forget that God is using each child, parent, staff member and situation as a tool and moment to shape me into who He wants me to be.

We cannot go into our classrooms and be ready to face all of the overwhelming challenges without praying and without each other.

I have to remember that before I reach their heads, I have to touch their hearts I want each of you to know that Because of YOU, a difference is being made.

As you prepare to start a new day or a new week, remember to Pause and Pray.

From My Heart to Yours,

Sunday's Heart Start: Snapshots of the Heart

This Sunday's Heart Start is one that I think all teachers need to hear. This past year was a struggle for me. Not because I had a difficult class but because there were so many moments that just showed the sad direction I see teaching heading sometimes. But then my heart remembered...

...My heart remembered Little Warrior from years and years ago. Little Warrior was not in my classroom for very long but I will never forget her smile, her laugh, and her perseverance. Little Warrior's story was very sad and to protect her privacy wherever she might be I won't share it. God placed Little Warrior in my room for a reason...just like each child He places in my room and in your room every year. Little Warrior taught ME more than I know I taught her. The snapshot of her in my head has nothing to do with her scores or grades but her heart.

**********squirrel**********

At the end of this year, I looked at my classroom snapshot and compared the scores and achievements of my kiddos from the beginning of the year to their scores in May. My teacher heart was so proud. When I turned it in to my Principal and Instructional Coach, I joked that it was stained with all of the blood, sweat, and tears everyone in our room shed. And that was true because many of the assessments caused my little Firsties to cry. There were also tears from me because I felt so pressured by testing this year.

We give the STAAR test 3rd and up in Texas. My district gives CBA's (curriculum based assessments) for 1st and 2nd. We have given CBAs before so that was not new but it just seems like more and more eyes look and question your scores, your lessons, and your schedule when your scores don't show enough growth. 

I don't think it is a questioning of what we are doing wrong...everyone just wants to help our kiddos do their best. I think the frustrating part is often the steps we have to take to get to a place where our kiddos may not be developmentally ready to be.

Teachers already pour their hearts and souls into helping our kiddos. We see huge growth all of the time that often does not show up in those scores. I think because we are so passionate about what we do that we tend to feel a little hurt when someone thinks we may not be doing a good job because of what some score shows. They are not in the trenches seeing the moment by moment growth we see and celebrate daily.

This post is not about testing because our scores already show the difference a teacher makes. Yes, most of the time that snapshot is not a true picture of that child and his/her capabilities. Heck, I cannot think of anything in my life that I would like for someone to take 1 snapshot of and be judged by that snapshot.

But I started to think of snapshots that SHOULD be in our classroom each day. Snapshots reflecting laughter, music, games, play, art, hugs, friendships, ah-ha's, collaboration, science experiments, engagement, and many other things that SHOULD still be a part of a young child's day and life. Those are the snapshots that will make a difference in the hearts of our kiddos. Those snapshots won't fade from our kiddos hearts.

I can take no credit for any difference I might be making in the classroom because I just pray for God to use me how He can. Even after 15 years in 1st grade, I still worry about not being good enough. I get so inspired by my friends out in the teaching world. I LOVE how much passion I see out there in social media but it sometimes seems that passion gets lost when I step on campus. I think that doubt is when I lose my focus because I am worrying about scores or other stressful burdens that teachers try to carry alone. I have to remember to create those snapshots that will make a difference in more than a score. Because I need to remember that before you reach their heads, you have to touch their hearts.

One hug can make a heart smile.

One giggle can heal a heart that has been hurting for awhile.

One song can comfort the silence at night.

One teacher can be God's beacon of light.

YOU can be God's difference of One...Because when YOUR passion shines through, you will ignite that passion in the hearts of others.

From My Heart to Yours,

Sunday's Heart Start: Getting Your Room Ready

Hi sweet friends. This week was so hard to be here in Texas while all of my teacher friends and teacher inspirations were in Vegas. Let's just say I have done a lot of stalking scrolling through pictures.

I have LOVED seeing everyone's pictures. So to make everyone jealous about where I was, I went up to my classroom to start setting it up. While there, I thought of what this Sunday's Heart Start would be about.

I'm not sure about y'all but seeing my furniture all piled into one LARGE jumble is not my favorite sight to see...especially working when there is NO a/c.

This is the first year EVER that my stuff was not piled to the ceiling! I usually have to climb the Mt. Rushmore of furniture to begin setting my room up! And this is not an illusion....this is the ACTUAL size of my closet classroom.

In a few weeks, everyone will start sharing the beautiful pictures of their classrooms. I LOVE seeing them all and get so many ideas. I also have to say a few prayers to not be jealous! Lol! :)

I LOVE creating a warm, friendly, inviting home for my kiddos and myself...and let's face it, our classroom IS our 2nd home. But I also know I have to caution myself to not get caught up in lots of little details. I have to remind myself that there is more to a classroom than all of the Pinterest projects....especially when you are craft challenged like myself and take FOREVER to make anything!

I have to remind myself as I am crossing off things on my to-do lists that I need to be spending equal time planning lessons and activities that will build Our School Family and reach the hearts of my kiddos. I want my kiddos to know that when they walk into our classroom, they walk into my heart.

For many of our kiddos, our classrooms are safe havens. Our rooms might be the one place during the day where they feel loved and safe. Because of that, I want to encourage and build a caring and supportive home. Here is one way I build that environment where kiddos feel safe.

I'll be back to share about this special box. Yes, I am teasing y'all! :)

As you start getting your room ready, be sure to take time to get your heart ready.

From My Heart to Yours,

Sunday's Heart Start: Are You Ready?

Hi Sweet Friends. Y'all have been on my heart constantly and there have been so many times when I wanted to sit down and blog but just couldn't. I'll go more into all of that in another post. I have truly missed blogging and sharing with each of you. Blogging has always helped me get my heart in the right place. So....I am going to start a series on this blog...or at least try my best to.

I love Sundays because they are the start of a new week. Yes, they are the end of the weekend. Yes, I spend them procrastinating about writing my lesson plans. Yes, I LOVE my nap after church. But the reason I love Sundays is they are my HEART START to the week. They are God's reminder that each day and week is a fresh start.

It is so easy to dread Mondays. Each Monday when I pull into the parking lot it is easy for me to not want to put my first foot onto my campus. I know the days and week will be full of obstacles and more on my plate than I can usually deal with since I don't have super powers. :)

I love teaching but it is all of the other STUFF that gets me down. I know how much the power of encouragement can uplift a heart and make a difference. I want to give those words of encouragement to others if I can....especially to my kiddos. :)

I know I have to have my attitude in check because if I don't, a bad attitude will bring me down.

My attitude will effect my kiddos.

Your attitude will effect your kiddos.

There are times I need to listen to certain songs, pray, and find inspiration in the things that remind me WHY I teach.

This video always reminds me of the importance and the difference that teachers make.

As you get ready for a new week, make a plan to encourage, uplift, and serve others. Remember, God gives you a gift each day. A day we can use to make a difference by sharing His love with others.

From My Heart to Yours,

The Gift of a Teacher

Merry Christmas sweet friends. I hope you are enjoying your holiday and are finding time to see the blessings that are all around us. I am blessed by the gift God gave us in His son because without the manger there would be no cross.

Last week as I was gathering the goodies for my gift to my kiddos I realized that what I really wanted to give them was not something I could wrap or buy. One of the gifts that would make a difference would be to give them the best teacher that I could be. Yes, I hope they remember the fun activities we do but I would rather them remember how I made them feel.

I want to give them a teacher who has A Heart of Patience because we all have so many things going on that make life stressful. I want my words to help them when things are going wrong and I want to lift them up with encouraging words that make them strong.

I want them to find magic in the books of a book and show them small miracles that others overlook. I want to remember that when I look at them I behold the future...even when that scares me!

Seeing our kiddos as the future seems to get more difficult and difficult each year because teaching becomes more and more stressful and the dynamics of our classrooms keeps changing...and not always as we see for the best. I want to give my kiddos the gift of taking these difficult and stressful situations as opportunities to help them become kind and caring individuals.

I want to give them a teacher that sees them with Eyes of the Heart. Eyes that see the good and eyes that see past the facade and the behaviors. Eyes that see everyone with love because God loved me first and I am a sinner that is not perfect too.

I want to give them the teacher in the mirror that is enough because we often forget that teacher when we become discouraged by all of the obstacles in our way. I want to remember I am teaching a child and not just a curriculum. I want to see my kiddos with growth glasses that see achievements both big and small that data on a paper does not show.

I want to give them the gift of giggles because our days need to be full of joy. The smiles and laughter of our kiddos will be remembered in our hearts long after memories of benchmark tests fade from our brains.

I want to give them the gift of a classroom that is a special place because when they walked into my classroom they walked into my heart.

I want to give them the gift of a childhood as much as I can in the 7 precious hours I have them at school.

To you, I want to give you the gift of knowing that Because of You a difference is being made.

As you celebrate Christmas and the holidays, know that you are giving your children something precious and priceless...you are giving them the gift of a teacher.

From My Heart to Yours,

The Teacher in the Mirror

WOW! It has been forever since I wrote a blog post. I have thought of so many things I wanted to share with you but just can't get it together to share them. I find myself wondering how is December almost over??!!?? Where is this year going????

This is my 15th year of teaching...and I have been in 1st the whole time. Considering that piece of info, I wonder how in the world can I feel as if I am drowning at least 80% of the time??? Why am I creating and making new activities???? Why do I find myself feeling like a crummy teacher more days than not???

I realize I am teaching in a world that forgets that I am teaching a young child. I follow a curriculum that seems to expect kiddos to learn a new concept right away. My kiddos don't leave their burdens at the door and my kiddos still need time to explore, play, and laugh...We won't even talk about all they keep heaping on our plates...I do like to sleep and have yet to figure out how to get it all in!!!

I think many teachers of the little ones find us in a world where developmentally appropriate doesn't matter anymore. I realize the reason I might have a HUGE headache when I come home could be because we taught addition for 1 week and the next week we are introducing subtraction. Hmmmm, hello???? Where is time for us to be building neural pathways and the time for practice and reteaching???

When someone looks at your score and sees kiddos below benchmark, they may not see and understand that one of those kiddos knew 0 letters when the year started or one of those kiddos has a parent in jail or one of them is living in a shelter.

When I have kiddos struggling, I forget to look at these other factors...I just start feeling as if I am not a good enough teacher.

There have been times this year that I looked into the mirror and did not like the teacher and person I saw. It is so easy to look at others, our kiddos, and ourselves with critical eyes. Most of the time I do not see others or myself as God does. When I saw this video, I cried and knew that others needed to see it too. Click on the link to watch. :)

The Teacher in the Mirror

I pray that I remember when I see this teacher in the mirror that I see a teacher that will keep creating new activities because I want my kiddos to be engaged. I pray that I remember that scores are just numbers on a page that do not accurately show the learning that has taken place. I pray that I see the teacher that loves her kiddos and that tries to teach them to be kind to others because that will make a difference in the world. I pray that I see others as an inspiration because teachers are making a difference in countless ways every day.

Remember this when you see the teacher in the mirror....

You are an inspiration to your kiddos. You are making a difference. The teacher in the mirror is a blessing because that teacher in the mirror is YOU!!!

From My Heart to Yours,

We Care Bag- Reaching the Heart of Your Class

I am so excited to share about this with everyone. If you have hopped over to my blog before you probably know how much I love Conscious Discipline. It is AMAZING! Keep reading to learn more about this Bright Idea.....a We Care Bag.

Young children often have difficulty being able to verbalize what they are feeling or going through. The way we often know that something is wrong is through their behavior. The tools in the We Care bag can help kiddos learn ways to de-stress, calm down, problem solve, and learn about ways to handle different emotions.

The We Care bag can also be used to teach your kiddos empathy....and just brings out the sweet hearts ALL of our kiddos have. :)

Here are some of the helpful goodies inside. :)

You can put anything in there that you want and you can easily modify this for bigger kiddos.

One of the tools in the bag are the De-Stressing icons. These are 4 different breathing techniques that can help when a kiddo,,,and even the teacher...is feeling mad or upset. Often when we are upset we have shallow breathing and our brains need more oxygen to move from the limbic system to the frontal lobe where problem solving takes place. Here is just a little about each one:

*S.T.A.R- Stop Take a deep breath And Relax- This is just deep belly breathing 3 times in and out

*Drain- Make 2 fists and hold your arms out straight in front of you. Tighten all muscles. Then, make a "Shhhhhhh" sound as you let out and release all of the stress and tension.

*Balloon- Interlace your fingers and put both hands on top of your head. Pretend that you are blowing up a balloon as you inhale through your nose and stretch your arms above your head like you are blowing up an imaginary balloon. Slowly exhale and deflate your balloon making a "pppbbbbbb" sound with your lips.

*Pretzel- This one still gets me all twisted up and the kiddos too! :)

You cross arms and legs. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth and breathe.

You can grab this *freebie* from the Conscious Discipline website. They will give you a better explanation of each icon than what I did. :)

breathing icons

The other things in the picture above are some tools we use to help us relax.

The Star is a light the kiddos can tap it to turn it on 3 times as they practice their S.T.A.R. breathing using the breathing icon above.

The caterpillar is a squishy toy that the kiddos gently rock back and forth breathing while practicing being caterpillar calm. 

Conscious Discipline has a set of books about a character named Shubert. In the books, Shubert has to practice being caterpillar calm when he gets upset. The kiddos learn lots about breathing and de-stressing from those books. :)

The bottle is full of pom poms balls. The kiddos pull out the pom poms one by one. A lot of times this helps when they are really focused on a problem about something not going their way. With the bottle, they get busy on the task and they often forget how sad or angry they are. They calm down and then I can talk to them about what was wrong. :)

Be careful though....this will frustrate some kiddos and make them mad. Ruh-Roh....we don't want that. :)

The light bulb helps them think of other ways the problem they are having can be solved. 

They can get a bright idea too!

The stuffed frog helps comfort them when they are feeling sad or lonely.

The mirror helps them "see" how they are feeling. I usually have an emotions poster in the bag too.

The S.T.A.R. glasses can be worn so they "focus" on calming down and using their S.T.A.R. breathing.

The phone can be used so they can "call" somebody when they are sad or missing someone.

We use the phone A LOT because my sweet little ones at the beginning of the year miss their mom or I have kiddos who have a parent in jail that they sometimes call. :(

My kiddos love to help each other out with the goodies inside.

I usually have Cranky Cream, Boo Boo Lotion, and Dream Cream inside too. :)

The kiddos can ask me if they can get a tool out to help a friend or a kiddo can ask me to get something out to help themselves if something is wrong. I might tell a kiddo "I think we need to get something out of the We Care Bag to help you out right now. Let's go see what we can find."

This bag goes so well with Our School Family job of the Cheerleader because the kiddos want to celebrate each other when they have calmed down and are ready to get their brains working again. :)

Too stinkin' sweet! :)

Be sure and check out tons and tons of other Bright Ideas in the links below.

An InLinkz Link-up

From My Heart to Yours,

Yo' Momma

Until I became a teacher, I never really understood how the words Yo' Momma or My Momma said starting a sentence would give me a headache. In High School, I had guy friends that would tell Yo' Momma jokes to each other. I heard jokes like Yo' Momma's so fat that when she walks in front of the TV I miss 3 episodes or Yo' Momma's so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops. We might giggle when we hear and see some momma jokes but in truth, they are really hurtful.

 I don't remember anybody saying any jokes insulting my momma but I know I probably would be upset over a momma joke too!

My first year of teaching I tried....and failed....to explain the logic to a six year old that this person does not even KNOW your momma so try and not worry too much about what they are saying. We talked about kind words and treating others with respect but I never realized how their momma's presence would ALWAYS be in the classroom with them....and ALL of their mommas are there regardless of race.

I also quickly learned that my little ones were often skeptical of what I told them to do because of what their momma said. The momma card trumped ANYTHING I had to say!

 I then read Ruby Payne's book A Framework for Understanding Poverty. I was also blessed to see her present. WOW!

Working at a Title 1 school where usually ALL of my students are already identified as at-risk coming into my 1st grade classroom this book is an amazing tool and guide for understanding.

This video is also awesome for helping understand the difference between home and school rules that our kiddos and parents often struggle with....and also the hidden rules.

Even before seeing this video, this is something I tried after attending my workshop with Ruby Payne. Many of our kiddos come into our classroom carrying with them a completely different set of rules. We expect them to start following "our" set of rules right away.

We often aren't as patient helping these students adjust to this new set of rules as we might be when they are struggling with a new concept academically. We also don't want to make a mistake by telling our kiddos that their set of home rules are wrong either....even if we disagree.

Part of our job will be helping them to see that those rules are not ones you can usually follow at school or at work. I always talk to my kiddos about how my principal makes me do things I don't want to or that there might be a time I get mad over something that happened with another teacher. I ask the kiddos if it would be okay for me to drop to the ground and throw a fit or run next door and hit Mrs. Carla??!!!??? I have even acted really mad and started walking around the room kicking things and saying "My momma said if anyone makes me mad I should just hit them!!! I'm going to go next door and HIT Mrs. Carla!!!"

The kiddos always laugh and think this is funny...and I have to bit my lip to keep from laughing at the look on their faces sometimes. :)

I talk to my kiddos about the difference between home rules and school rules. We talk about my job as The Safe Keeper and how it is their job to help me keep everyone safe. We talk about other ways to handle problems here at school such as walking away, going to a spot to calm down, standing up for yourself while staying calm and in control, or going to get an adult to help you solve the problem. We brainstorm other strategies too. We try and learn ways to be problem solvers while still helping them know that they can save face because at school they are just following a different set of rules. 

By showing them that we are going to help them learn how to be successful following school rules, we are going to be showing them respect and how much we care. As we handle different situations and share the self talk in our heads, we will be modeling to them other ways to handle problems and the problem solving we go through, By doing this, we will be the champions by their side and the mirrors that reflect kindness and patience to them and others.

One day someone might say Yo' Momma must be pretty amazing to have raised a child like you!

Our kiddos are coming to use holding on to rocks that we might see as burdens or stumbling blocks. If we stand by them as they learn and pave the way with respect and love, those rocks can be stepping stones bridging the way from heart to heart.

From My Heart to Yours,

A Change for Next Year...and Now

It is time to brush off the cobwebs and dead crickets that have no longer been chirping on this blog because they died a looooonnnnngggg time ago!

I cannot even begin to tell you about all of the blog posts I have written in my head, But when it came time to sit down and actually write them, I felt lost. I have kind of felt lost ALL year long with things going on at school and at home. But I have realized how much blogging helps me reflect on my attitude and where my heart is....it is sometimes the compass that helps me point my heart back towards God and the reasons why I love teaching despite how challenging and draining it can be.

Every May, I find myself making a list of all of the things I will do better next year. I tell myself I will be more purposeful in my guided reading lesson plans and Writing Workshop mini-lessons. I tell myself I will stay on top of grading papers so I am not entering grades on the day they are due at 11:58 pm! I also realize how there are so many things I could have done better if I had looked at changing myself first.

Do you ever find yourself wanting to change others....both little people and big people?

And it is often the BIG people we want to change the most because we think they should know better! :)

I have to remind myself daily....and sometimes minute by minute...that the only person I can change is myself and how I respond to that person and that situation.

I know I have found times when I make excuses for myself  and have found it easy to place the blame on others or something else. Have you heard these excuses before?

I have a tough class this year.
I don't like this curriculum.
Admin has no clue what it is like in the classroom.
Their parents don't care about their grades.
They never listen.
They NEVER hush!
You don't understand what my team is like!
I have NO help or support from home!
It does no good to send the children to the office.
This child (or grown-up) drives me CRAZY!!!

These excuses do nothing to SOLVE the problem. In fact, we often use them to justify the things we do. I know I have been guilty of that before. :(

So when that starts to happen, I realize I need to pray and find the things that help me point my mind and heart back on a better path.

Some of my favorite thoughts from Conscious Discipline always help ground me and remind me how I don't need to change others only myself.

How you respond to a child's upset teaches them how to respond to others when they are upset.p. 192
What you focus on, you get more of. What we offer others we strengthen in ourselves. p. 160
Love see the best in people, even children. p.162
Whomever you have placed in charge of your feelings, you have placed in control of you. p.28


This song always helps to remind me of how God will change us so it is not up to me to try and change others.

So instead of thinking of all of the things I need and will do better next year, I remind myself about reaching and touching their hearts first. I remind myself that through the tough times I will face with my kiddos to encourage them and love them.

 I will remind myself to be kind, patient, and encouraging even when those around me are not.

 I will remind myself to show love through the toughest times because we are ALL still learning and changing.

But most of all, I will remind myself that we are ALL broken but God is sculpting each of us into something beautiful!

From My Heart to Yours,

No, I Didn't....Yes, You Did!!!

I am not sure about you but when I hear

No, I didn't!!!!

and then

Yes, you did!!!!

My right eye starts twitching.

I have the urge to bop a kiddo or 2 on the head.

I want to start hollering calmly say "Please, just be quiet."

But, I know that will only solve the problem temporarily...even though, I might feel better if I do a little head bopping (Which I never do). =)

I would love if every day was like this...

(I DO try and help my kiddos see that you CAN disagree with someone but arguing about it won't solve the problem.)

Part of me would like to try this...

{source}

In the past, we talked about telling the other person I disagree with you but I am not going to argue with you because I care about you. 

I noticed that this was giving some kiddos the excuse to get out of their hurtful behavior....especially when they had done something intentionally.

This year I started thinking about the WHY behind a child not wanting to just apologize(or admit to the problem) ...when a lot of the things happen on accident.

My kiddos get very, very good about not tattling and using their BIG VOICE. They might tell a friend I didn't like it when you stepped on my foot. Most of the time a kiddo will apologize and we move on...no big deal.

But sometimes, I have a kiddo who will argue with me OR anything breathing about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I am sure none of you have kiddos like that, right??!!??? =)

I remembered something I learned from Ruby Payne who is the guru of working and teaching children of poverty. One of the big things a child of poverty will always do is try and save face. This can be why they laugh in your face when you correct them or smile when you talk to them about their poor/bad choices.

If they are laughing in our face, they REALLY don't want to look bad in the eyes of their friends.

So, here is what we have been working on....

Child 1: I didn't like it when you kicked me in the back (This is when everyone was moving up toward the pocket chart.)

Child 2: I didn't kick you!!!

***instead of the Yes, you did....we now have NEW words***

Child 1: I am not saying you did it on purpose. I think it happened on accident when you were scooting up.

Child 2: Oh, I am sorry. I didn't realize that happened. I am sorry for accidentally kicking you.

Child 1: I forgive you.

Here is the part I really like: Child 2 takes ownership of their behavior AND they have to then find a way to make the situation better depending on what happened.

So, our new helpful sentence stems are:

I am not saying you did it on purpose. I think it happened when....

You maybe didn't realize you....

I am not mad at you. I'm just trying to help you understand you what might have happened.

This works well with my Hoovers and my kiddos who are a Frosty (prone to HUGE meltdowns)! =)

I always need to remember to try and stay calm when they start to fuss and argue. =)

Now, some BIG news....

Heather's Heart is now on FB =)

Click on my button to go to my FB page. I would love for you to like me there. =)

Please let me know if the link works...it was acting all wonkers.

Be sure and check out my giveaway too. =)

How do you handle fussing and arguing? I would love to know. =)

From My Heart to Yours,

Time to Hear a Heart

I missed school today. I NEVER miss school. I think this is the 4th time in 10 years.

On Friday, a loved one lost her battle with cancer and was called home. Although it is a blessing she is no longer suffering, our hearts ache that she is no longer with us.

I have always tried to put on a brave face no matter what I am going through. I hold back tears when I often need to let them fall.

But today the flood gates opened...I think I have been crying since I woke up at 4:30 this morning.

I think we often get so busy that we stop to really listen to each other. We ask each other How are you today? as we pass by because we usually expect to hear the answer I'm fine or Good.

I feel so rushed during the day to try and get it ALL IN. We shuffle our kiddos in and out of reading groups, math groups, and intervention groups. We meet with them to do running records, assessments, and conferences.

We are quick to intervene with discipline problems without really taking the time to figure out the why behind what happened.

Our lives don't slow down when we leave school.

There are errands to run, kiddos to take from one practice to the next, dinner to prepare, homework to get done, baths, laundry, taking a few minutes to talk to that man that might still be your husband, planning and doing all of the things that you didn't get to finish at school, and maybe finding some time to sleep.

I think all of these things that keep us so busy and consumed are just background noise that often muffle the words of our hearts and the hearts of others.

I have faith in knowing that God brought every person into my life for a reason. I want to take the time to let others know that I am blessed because of that. My heart decides whether to see others as a blessing or a burden.

{source}

Am I taking the time to let the ones I love know how much I love them?

Am I taking the time to really listen to others and their hearts???

{source}

Everyone who crosses your path tomorrow will be carrying burdens. Some burdens are carried where others can see them. These are burdens we can pray for, talk about, help with, carry as our own, and just be aware of. Many burdens though are carried in the heart. Sometimes the heart has not even found the words to carry with these burdens. They are there and if we take the time to stop and listen our heart can hear.

Will you take the time tomorrow to listen to a heart???

From My Heart to Yours,

Are You Insane???!!!????!!!??

My sweet and helpful class has been completely a little wacko this past week. I think they were still on a Valentine's sugar high from last week PLUS the change in the weather....Mother Nature in Texas has PMS and needs hormones...has sent many of them OVER THE EDGE! They are latching on and trying to drag me with them!

I am not sure about you but there have been many, many, many, MANY, MANY times when I have wanted to look at my kiddos and ask Are You Insane???!!!???!!!???

To be honest, there are a few parents and teachers I want to ask that question to also. =)

The past few days I have repeated some of the same things over and over....

You are not being kind or helpful telling her to mind her own business. (Even though I agree!)

He is RIGHT in front of you. The volume of your voice does not need to be that loud.

Walking with your eyes closed is not being safe. You are not keeping your promise to help me keep others safe.

I am not sure why you tore up the NEW eraser I gave you. Do you REALLY think I am going to let you feed that to the tadpoles??!!!???!!!??

It is hard to work on your math problem when your head and arms are inside your shirt.

Are you being a bucket filler or a bucket dipper by fussing and arguing with her/him????

I am not sure why you are licking your hands and arm????? You are not a cat....we don't bathe ourselves with our tongue.

For a couple of days I repeated myself many, many times HOPING and PRAYING it would work like it usually does. My kiddos are almost always very good about taking helpful reminders. So, I had to remind myself of my favorite quote:

It is easy to blame the kiddos and think THEY are the ones that need to make the changes first. Now, please don't get me wrong- I am all for teaching the children to take responsibility for their choices and actions. THEY do need to learn better ways to handle situations and become problem solvers. But, I am the adult and should always reflect upon myself and what I am doing FIRST.

I also need to remember one of the key points of Conscious Discipline about how I cannot change a person or his/her behavior....only my reaction and feelings toward that person. I also needed to remind myself of what I tell my kiddos: No one can make you angry without your permission. YOU are the boss of your feelings.

I think we often get in ruts and find ourselves doing the same things over and over without really questioning and reflecting upon WHY we are doing it. We then get frustrated when things don't go the way we think they should. I need to remind myself more often that I would never find myself getting angry or upset with a kiddo that was struggling with math or reading. So ,why do we find ourselves growing so impatient with our children and their behavior???

Are the words I am saying building them up or knocking them down?

When our kiddos are struggling with their behavior are we letting them know we care enough about them to let them know that what they are doing is not okay? Are we encouraging them through these tough times?

I have realized with some of my Hoovers that the most powerful thing to do is encourage them. This is where I love Our School Family job of the Cheerleader. Instead of driving myself crazy thinking of how can I get these kiddos to stop_________________________, I had to think of what I wanted them to do. 

We had a School Family Meeting about celebrating each other. I started helping the Cheerleader this week really find LOTS and LOTS of ways to celebrate others...especially friends who were having a hard time making helpful choices and started to turn their thinking around.

I think we often fall back on some "insane" thinking when we are going through tough things ourselves. Often our kiddos might be crying out for love through some of their behavior so I want to remember that...

So, even though we want to say "You are driving me crazy"...

Stop and take a deep breath and remember-

I think our kiddos do too. =)

From My Heart to Yours,