I am not sure about you but there have been many, many, many, MANY, MANY times when I have wanted to look at my kiddos and ask Are You Insane???!!!???!!!???
To be honest, there are a few parents and teachers I want to ask that question to also. =)
The past few days I have repeated some of the same things over and over....
You are not being kind or helpful telling her to mind her own business. (Even though I agree!)
He is RIGHT in front of you. The volume of your voice does not need to be that loud.
Walking with your eyes closed is not being safe. You are not keeping your promise to help me keep others safe.
I am not sure why you tore up the NEW eraser I gave you. Do you REALLY think I am going to let you feed that to the tadpoles??!!!???!!!??
It is hard to work on your math problem when your head and arms are inside your shirt.
Are you being a bucket filler or a bucket dipper by fussing and arguing with her/him????
I am not sure why you are licking your hands and arm????? You are not a cat....we don't bathe ourselves with our tongue.
For a couple of days I repeated myself many, many times HOPING and PRAYING it would work like it usually does. My kiddos are almost always very good about taking helpful reminders. So, I had to remind myself of my favorite quote:
I also need to remember one of the key points of Conscious Discipline about how I cannot change a person or his/her behavior....only my reaction and feelings toward that person. I also needed to remind myself of what I tell my kiddos: No one can make you angry without your permission. YOU are the boss of your feelings.
I think we often get in ruts and find ourselves doing the same things over and over without really questioning and reflecting upon WHY we are doing it. We then get frustrated when things don't go the way we think they should. I need to remind myself more often that I would never find myself getting angry or upset with a kiddo that was struggling with math or reading. So ,why do we find ourselves growing so impatient with our children and their behavior???
Are the words I am saying building them up or knocking them down?
When our kiddos are struggling with their behavior are we letting them know we care enough about them to let them know that what they are doing is not okay? Are we encouraging them through these tough times?
I have realized with some of my Hoovers that the most powerful thing to do is encourage them. This is where I love Our School Family job of the Cheerleader. Instead of driving myself crazy thinking of how can I get these kiddos to stop_________________________, I had to think of what I wanted them to do.
We had a School Family Meeting about celebrating each other. I started helping the Cheerleader this week really find LOTS and LOTS of ways to celebrate others...especially friends who were having a hard time making helpful choices and started to turn their thinking around.
I think we often fall back on some "insane" thinking when we are going through tough things ourselves. Often our kiddos might be crying out for love through some of their behavior so I want to remember that...
So, even though we want to say "You are driving me crazy"...
Stop and take a deep breath and remember-
I think our kiddos do too. =)
From My Heart to Yours,