Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Heart of Patience

You are tired.
You are stressed.
You are behind in the curriculum.
The weather hasn't let you have recess in a week.
There is a full moon.

They are messing with their shoelaces, wiping boogers on the floor, drawing pictures on their marker board instead of writing word wall words, asking if it time for lunch, asking if we have already been to lunch, raising their hand to not ask you a question but to tell you they got new shoes....that aren't staying tied, and they are asking if it is time for lunch.

It is only 10:00 in the morning.

There are so many things that happen in our lives that we have no control over. There are situations everyday that we go through that are stressful, sad, boring, draining, exciting, frustrating, irritating, happy, and so many more that put us on an emotional roller coaster.

And I think for us, this can be very hard because some teachers can be a wee bit of a control freak....you might know one or two, right? =)

As I began learning about Conscious Discipline around 5 years ago, this book gave me hives and an upset tummy.


And I'll be honest with you, I cried because this book shook my world up and basically said that so many things I was doing and had been taught in college to do and say were wrong. WRONG and actually the reason WHY many behaviors were happening.

I would say before I read this book that I had very good classroom management skills. When I had observations and appraisals, my ratings were always excellent...ugh, that is hard for me to even type! I have never used any of the color changing or clip moving type of systems. I have never been one for yelling or really even raising my voice. I really didn't even use bribery or threats about losing recess or other things (but there are times when those are discussed as consequences). So, I really didn't except this book to turn my world upside down, earthquake split my brain apart, and tornado twirl my heart around where I was not sure where to stand anymore.

Conscious Discipline is not about here are some ways the kiddos can behave with more kindness. The journey starts with yourself and really examining YOU and how YOU need to be the person you want others to become. These are just a few of the aha's from the book:

*No one can make you angry without your permission-page 23
*Children are either extending love or calling for love(help)-page 163
*How you respond to your child's upset teaches her how to respond to the upset of others- page 193
*What we say to children becomes their inner speech for the rest of their lives- page 177

All of those aha's for me reflect the need for me to have patience. Daily. Moment by Moment.

I cannot control the child or sometimes even the situation. What I can control is how I handle it. If I am to be the example that I want others to become, I need to be loving and patient.

I know I won't be perfect. I will make mistakes, raise my voice, or react too quickly out of frustrations or anger that I allow myself to feel and react to. When this happens, I always try to apologize to my kiddos. I tell them I am sorry for speaking harshly when I was feeling frustrated. I ask for forgiveness from my kiddos. This is something I have done even before Conscious Discipline.

This poem popped into my heart and onto the paper in about 5 minutes. Seriously. God puts the words on my heart.

I am going to post this in my classroom to remind myself to have a Heart of Patience.

I am joining a linky party and thought that this would be a great post to share on the link.


Here is the poem that I would love for you to read.


I pray for my heart to be a heart of patience.


98 heart notes:

Erin Sample said...

Thanks for sharing! That was beautiful and always important to remember through all the stress.
Erin
FanaticaboutFirst

Laura said...

This looks like a wonderful summer read! You have me interested! You're kiddos are so lucky to have you!


Laura
Peace, Love, and First Grade

Barbara said...

I'm going to have to read this book. I have a copy now that we've had the intro to Conscious Discipline. My biggest AHA in that training was reframing "that kid just needs attention" to "that kid just needs connection!" Connecting with them is KEY!

LOVE your posts, and your heart!

Barbara
The Corner On Character

Fran Kramer said...

Hi Heather.
I finally made it over here to see your blog and thank you for all the wonderful suggestions. I will look at all the great activities. I am always so over programmed and report cards for 31 kids is a bit much for this old lady!
I think I would be friends with you. I am always stressed and anxious and you would remind me to stop and smell the roses.
Fran @kindergartencrayons

applesandabcs said...

oh my goodness, I am excited to look into this book. Thank you for writing this post...

Michelle
Apples and ABC's

applesandabcs said...

oh my goodness, I am excited to look into this book. Thank you for writing this post...

Michelle
Apples and ABC's

Reagan Tunstall said...

wow I am going to get that book. Thank you so much for sharing about it. I need to do some major reflecting!

Jill said...

Every time you talk about Conscious Discipline, I want to learn more about it! I think it could be just what we need... thank you for continally reminding me to check it out!

Also, I laughed when you mentioned the kids asking when it's lunch or if they've already had lunch. Story of my life!!

Marvelous Multiagers!

Mrs. Poland said...

Heather -

I always love reading your posts. They are filled with so many "Ah-ha" moments!

Misty
Think, Wonder, & Teach

Mrs. Poland said...

Heather -

I always love reading your posts. They are filled with so many "Ah-ha" moments!

Misty
Think, Wonder, & Teach

My Pink Scribbles said...

Great post! I want to buy this book.
What a great lesson for us all and a GREAT poem!

Camille said...

Heather,
As always, I appreciate your honesty. Your posts always touch our hearts and help us reflect on our own teaching practice. As I read your newest poem, I thought about how it not only applied to us as teachers, but also as wives. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Lots of love to you,
Camille
An Open Door
P.S. I am very interested in reading this book, but also very scared!!!!!!

Cortney (a.k.a. Ms. Bystrom) said...

Heather,

Thanks so much for stopping by my little blog! :) I am stalking your blog as we speak and I am excited to read on! I like your tidbits that link teaching and faith. It is so important, especially during days when our patience is running low. Take a peek at my post from back in December for an inspirational prayer (I keep it in my lesson book...page 1):

http://onceuponasubstitute.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-year-new-job.html

or visit I do{odle} for other uplifting quotes/poems:

http://homegrownhospitality.typepad.com/photos/rak_doodles/index.html

Alright, sorry to type your ear off, but I was just sooo excited that you discovered my blog so I could discover yours! Thanks and I hope you come back and visit ---- I've been bad about posting regularly, but spring break is next week....let the blogging begin again!!! :)

Best,
Cortney

Erica said...

Thank you so much for this breath of fresh air! You are a blessing to many. ;)

Erica

Sprinkles to Kindergarten

Miss DeCarbo said...

You have just answered a prayer. I was just explaining to my fiance that I felt as though I had little patience today and I was sad with myself for being so quick to get frustrated. Thank you for your poem. I just e-mailed it to my work to share with my staff.

Second Grade Sugar and Spice

Ms. H. said...

Wow! What a wonderful poem. March has been rough in the classroom. Spring Break is in the air and the kids sense that it's just around the corner. I find myself feeling like your poem describes. Thank you for reminding me to be patient. Your words are truely inspiring and uplifting. :)

-tania

Live, Love, Laugh in 2nd Grade

Rhonda said...

Love your poem, Heather and love your blog. Teaching is a hard job and some days are better than others. I will be sharing your poem with my colleagues. Thanks for sharing.

Mary Ellen said...

Thank you do much for this post. You have no idea how much I needed this today.

Mrs. Alexis said...

Plan to check this book out. THanks for sharing. So much of what you said I can relate to. The closer to the end of the year we get the harder things seem to become. THanks for the sweet reminder to be patient.

Deb said...

You always share the most timely messages! Thank you, again, for the reminder to be patient and loving. My favorite point from this post was: Children are either extending love or calling for love. I needed to hear that. Thank you!

Oh My Little Classity Class

Julie said...

What a beautiful post and something I needed to read before work today. Thank you for sharing and for reminding me- :)

Julie
www.lightafire3.blogspot.com

Cheryl said...

Heather,

Thanks for sharing your heart with others and taking time to post on my blog. Your website is amazing! I'll definitely be back.

~Cheryl

Mrs. Dwyer said...

I LOVE reading your blog posts! The always give me the best chuckles! I bet your class of firsties laught a lot! Gotta love our TX kiddies. Keep the posts coming....thinking of propping my feet up with this good read this summer. Thanks for sharing!

~Tanya
http://aplusfirsties.blogspot.com

Ms. Lindsey said...

This is just what I needed! March can be such a hard month. Yet we still have to remember that our kiddos are still kids and need our love and patience no matter what. Today was one of those tough days. Thank you for sharing! :)

Lindsey
http://lovinfirstgradewithmslindsey.blogspot.com/

Jennifer said...

Hi Heather!

Thank you so much for following my little blog! I was so excited to see a fifth member! :) It is pretty plain right now, but I am working with a blog design company so hopefully it will be cute soon! This book looks great! I will have to read it over Spring Break. Thanks also for the St. Patrick's Day activities.

Jennifer
http://delightedinsecond.blogspot.com/

Room 114 said...

I've been hearing a lot about Conscious Discipline lately. I think I'm going to have to check out the book.

We sometimes forget how our words affect our students. Thanks for reminding all of us to practice patience.

Lisa

Stories from Room 114

PS - Thanks for stopping by our blog and following. We're following you too :)

Kelley Cirrito said...

I will have to check this book out! It is hard to watch how some of the teachers in my building treat out students. It isn't right or fair to be treated that way.

Susan said...

Hi Heather- Wow! I can't wait to get a hold of this book.
Might be just what I need.
Thanks for the inspiration.

Susan

Owl Things First said...

I'm reccomending that book for a faculty read over the summer! It sounds like it is filled with wisdom...Just like you! I love your poetry! I'm printing, framing and putting this one up in my classroom! I pray for patience daily and God is giving me lots of practice and reasons to pray for it!! ;)

4321teach said...

Great book suggestion! I am your newest follower. I look forward to reading your blog!

EmilyK

Ms. Jessica said...

This is so true and I love the poem! It's amazing how quickly the kids can get under your skin if you let them. Every time this happens I just sit down one on one with a student and listen to the read or work on whatever assignment there are and it reminds me of the good they all inside!

Jessica King said...

Printed & plan on hanging it in my classroom-and of course passing it along to my co-workers. Everyone needs this at this time of year! :)

Miss Trayers said...

I just saw the author of Conscious Discipline speak at a pd several weekends ago. She was so incredibly inspiring! I'm trying to get our admin to send us to Florida this summer for her conference. :) Great reminders, it's been a tough year for me in that department- thanks so much for sharing!

Amanda said...

Heather, thanks for stopping by my blog! This is such an amazing post with such a powerful message. :) I am so inspired by your warmth and positivity! Your blog is fabulous!

Amanda
http://www.oneextradegree.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Heather,
What a wonderful poem! It sure says so much. Im happy that you shared this. A lot about what you are talking about also comes from an approach called The Nurtured Heart Approach by Howard Glasser. I am an advanced trainer of this approach and I have been using this approach in my special ed classroom, home with my family, and everyday life with people whom I come in contact with. It is amazing how well it works and it has changed my life forever. You can find more about this approach by going to the website. Www.Children'sSuccessFoundation.com and www.DifficultChild.com It's all about awakening the greatness in all children without energizing negativity. Let me know what you think and if you need more info please feel free to contact me at threadgill@aps.edu
Marci

S. Parker said...

Heather,
I would love to read this book. I have found out that as I teach more, I am more comfortable with who I am as a teacher. I have learned not to "react" to the situation the same way. It makes my teaching life a lot more calmer; although, many days I still feel like teaching is like running a marathon. :)

Mrs.Cook said...

Heather,

i wish I was in your classroom! Thank you so much for your positive words and reminding us to slow down and think about what is really important.

Ashley

http://firstgradesmartcookies.blogspot.com

Stacy Johnson said...

Heather,
I have thought the same thing about how maybe it's me and how could I change myself to adjust to the situations around me! Thanks for sharing!

Stacy
Mrs Johnson’s First Grade

Coconut Cutie said...

Well Heather...I finally got a chance to stop by your blog and I am sure glad I did! You have some very insightful thoughts. I love the poem that you wrote. I too have some of the Shubert Books! The kids do seem to really respond well with them. I have not read the Consious disapline book yet but am inspired by your blog to do so.

Thanks again for stopping by my blog, coconutcutiesclassroom.blogspot.com. I am now one of your newest followers. Dont't forget to keep stopping by the rest of this week for more freebie fun!

Carolyn said...

wow, boy did I need to read this tonight. I have had one of my hardest afternoons today. Thanks for starting to follow me on my blog. It led me here, today of all days.

Lesa's Blog said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG. Is it hard to change the background of a blog that is already up and going? I need help. Thank you for checking out mine. I just started getting my blog together yesterday. If you could give me some pointers I would love it.

Angie said...

Thank you so much for following my enchanted ladybug blog! Your blog is just wonderful! I homeschool my 2 daughters ages 4 and 7 and when I read your Heart of Patience poem it really hit home with me! I will forever keep this in mind as we go on our daily journey of learning! Thank you!

Barbara said...

A lovely post, Heather. I think I'll look for the book. Thank you!
Barb
Grade ONEderful

Mrs. Cupcake said...

Hi Heather, I tried to email you about the comment you left on my page, but the message was returned to me! :( I'd love to help out, what did you want to do?? :) Maybe if you email me, it will work:
acupcakefortheteacher@gmail.com
❤Teri
A Cupcake for the Teacher

Stacy said...

What weird words??????

I am typing a post as we speak!

I miss you! ...you can come to my room anytime....I want to spend a day with you period!! Maybe we could call it professional development? I know it would help me a ton!

Thanks for keeping a watch out for me and waiting on me to get back!

Love ya!
Stacy

2nd Grade Paradise

LYNDSEY said...

Love this post! It is all SO TRUE. I can't wait to check out that book. Thanks so much for sharing. Your sweet words always brighten my day. You are amazing!

Lyndsey
A Year of Many Firsts

Stacy said...

OK...now its me that is stalking and commenting!:) We are two peas in a pod!

I gave you an award because I can't believe you dont have every one of them already! I love you and you know it!

Head over to check it out!

Stacy
2nd Grade Paradise

Angel Read said...

I'm definitely going to look for this book! I sometimes have trouble managing behavior because I am not great at being "strict"... so I'd love to read about a new way of keeping order in the classroom!

Tamara L. Chilver said...

LOVE your poem Heather! Annie and I just did a radio program on patience a week ago and this fruit of the spirit is the most challenging for most educators and parents. We all want more of it. Your poem is very inspirational.

RealOCteachers said...

Hello Heather! Thank you for following our blog. We are now following your blog and love it!

The REAL Teachers of Orange County

Mrs. Corbitt said...

Wow, that was really beautiful. Thank you for stopping by my blog so that I could find out about yours!

Jaime said...

Thank you so much Heather! You are so sweet :) I am following you to and I grabbed your button :)

Debra said...

Hi Heather,
I love your blog. First grade teachers always seem to have great blogs! The book sounds like a terrific book to add to my summer reading list. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. It is always exciting and amazing when someone finds it and writes a comment. I have only just starting blogging this year.

Keri said...

Very, very inspirational! I just placed an order for this book after reading your post. I am part of an action research team that has spent the last two years finding ways to teach kids about emotional literacy, especially anxiety.
Thank you for always being so positive and uplifting. I love reading your blog.

Susan said...

Heather, thank you for sharing your beautiful poem and the thoughts behind it. I have to admit, I think I'm afraid to read it. I am afraid I will have a lot of guilt. Like you, I have tried over the years to be a nurturing teacher and have been told I am. But I think the stress of the past year has caused me to lose sight of the real reason I am in that classroom. Afraid or not, I am going to read that book...but it's going to have to wait until summer when I won't crumble when I do.

Susan said...

I forgot to mention what I came here to write, THANK YOU for visiting my blog and leaving a comment!

Erika said...

Heather, I just tried to add your button to my blog and it says the image has been moved or deleted. I just thought you'd want to know.

Jessica Heeren said...

Hi, Heather! Thanks for following me and leaving the nice comment on my blog! I'm definitely just getting into the swing of things and have started posting a little at a time. Your blogs are wonderful! Thanks for sharing your hard work and ideas! I've added Conscious Discipline to my list of "Must Reads" for the summer. :)

Pam said...

Heather I love your words. I agree totally with what you write and thank you for the poems. Did you purchase anything else from the CD website? I am trying to implement some of this a little at a time when I read what you write.
Pam

connie said...

Even if somedays all I do is read this - it might just change MY attitude, my reactions. thanks for writing this. I swear i think you wrote it just for me :)
Connie
creating Kinders

Mrs.LaSota's Blog said...

Heather,

I was so star struck to see that you wrote on my blog! ;) Not only do I have your blog saved on my computer tool bar for easy access but it is also saved on my iphone!
I absolutely love all of your entries and have researched a lot about Conscious Discpline since reading your blog. I've begged my principal to buy all of the books for me but he has polietly declined. :(

Thanks for stopping by my blog and saying hello and also entering my giveaway! ;)

-Danielle :)

Mrs. K said...

Thank you for sharing those quotes! I think I'll have to print them out and keep them close by. :)

Love your blog!

Jessica said...

Thanks for the sweet comment and follow over at my blog - Heart Tugs. I am so glad your stumble on my blog lead to me stumbling on yours! I love your poem and am already grateful for its reminder to remain patient with my little ones - especially the week after spring break!

Jessica

Sandy said...

Thank you so much for visiting my blog Heather! It is amazing the resources out there. I am now a follower and I cannot wait to learn from you! Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment!

Mikaela said...

I am currently going through the new education program and we have many discussions about guidance over discipline in regards to social emotional development. If you enjoyed "Conscious Discipline", you will LOVE "The Power of Guidance" by Dan Gartrell. It's excellent and will..once again..change your thinking!

AmyLou said...

I like that quote... "No one can make you angry without your permission." Good one!

Amy

www.teacherteacher-amylou.blogspot.com

Gesin's Gallery said...

Patience is such a beautiful thing to pray for! Love the poem! Thank you for visiting my blog and directing me to yours! It will become part of my blogstalking sessions! :)

Julie

www.gesinsgallery.blogspot.com

Tanya Solano said...

Hey Heather! You are so great! I love your posts, they are inspiring...thank you.
Speaking of patience, I'm thinking about next year already. I would love for you to join in my linky party and share your ideas.
❤Tanya
Ms. Solano's Kindergarten

Miss Kristan King said...

Heather,
Thanks for your kind words! I am so looking into this book.

I was just wondering if I would ever get followers outside of my friends "who know me" & then you commented - made my day...thanks for that!

Kiki said...

Hi Heather! Thank you so much for your warm words..I have definitely been to your blog before and I think used some of your freebies--so thank you! I have never heard of the book you speak of in your post..I'm very intrigued and inspired by the ideas in it (standing up for yourself, being assertive, etc.) It is encouraging to know dedicated, incredible teachers like you are out there serving communities in need.
Warmly,
Kiki

RealOCteachers said...

Hey Heather! You mentioned on my blog that you might be able to help me figure out how to upload files so that people can download them from my blog. I know you're probably busy, but when you get the chance, can you please help me? Sorry, I would have emailed this to you, but couldn't figure out how to contact you by email! Thanks for your help!

Cynthia said...

Hi Heather,
I popped into your blog, and I don't think I was ever following you! (I have NO idea how to "unfollow" since I still consider myself a newbie at all of this.) Your blog is so cute. I love your post about patience. I so need to remind myself of that! Question for you...Are you following me? :-)

Thanks for the post so I could find your blog! :-)

Cynthia
www.2ndgradepad.blogspot.com

(I posted here and replied on mine. I'm still too new to know whether or not you would get my reply! Slowly, but surely I'm learing! hahaha)

Mrs.Cook said...

Heather,

I love your blog and the sweet notes you leave on mine! I wanted to award you with the Lovely Blog Award! Check it out on my blog!

Ashley

http://firstgradesmartcookies.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Heather,
I love all your blog posts regarding Conscious Discipline. It has made a big difference in the focus of my teaching and helped with the language I use in the classroom.

I'm currently setting up a Kindergarten class that will start in a few weeks (here in Australia) and have been setting up a 'we care bag', a 'safe place' and various routines I have gleaned from you. I want to add 'jobs' processes. I notice that you have several jobs: encourager, cheerleader, greeter, goodbye wisher, kindness recorder, and absent student helper. I am wondering if you could let me know the other 'jobs' you have in your classroom? And what would be the first 3 jobs you introduce?

Thanks you.
Kind regards,
Janet
jayjuice at hotmail dot com

Ms. Jessica said...

Today my class was chatty and fidgety and all I thought to myself was "No one came make you angry without your permission." Thanks for reminding me to be patient! It made a world of difference today! I regrouped and had an amazing afternoon with the kiddies!

You have such great ideas... that's why I gave you the lovely blog award! Come by my blog to check it out:
http://aturntolearn.blogspot.com/

Beyond Teaching said...

The poem is so sweet. Thank you for sharing! It's so important to remember to have patience and that they're just little kids yet :/ I always have to remind myself this when I feel like I'm about to rip my hair out. I'm gonna buy this book too you suggested! *Children are either extending love or calling for love(help)- I truly believe this!!!

Thanks!!

Kaitlin

Kirsten Taylor said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE your poem! I'm going to keep that in mind these next few weeks. Thanks for inviting me to see your blog..I'm your newest follower!

Tara said...

Wow Heather,
I am so honored that you like my blog! You are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing such great words for everyone to share and impact our children:)

Randi said...

Heather,
Thank you so much for your kind comment on my blog. I enjoyed reading this post. It just so happens that this is EXACTLY what I needed to read tonight. Thank you for sharing!

Mrs. Ryan said...

Heather,

Thank you for visiting my blog! I am so happy to have found you! This post was just what I needed tonight. I plan to print out your poem to help myself through those moments of frustration so that I can be a better version of myself. :) Thank you for your insights!

teaching fashionista said...

Great post, I love your honesty and I always think about how I react to situations in the classroom and honestly it bothers me when I get frustrated.
I would love to read this book.

M said...

Wow!! I clicked over from your comment about being a new follower and just quickly perused your page as I'm on my way out the door to my 5th graders! I fell on this post. There's a post it note in my bag that now says "Children are either extending love or calling for love." What better thing for me to do than to respond to that :) Thanks for the Wednesday encouragement (and for following my blog!)! Happy Wednesday!

Raina said...

Caught this post a little late, but thank you so much for posting this poem. I have a little who is seriously trying my patience! I will think of this poem and get through the day tomorrow, so thanks!

Tye said...

Heather,
Thank you for your kind words on my blog. I will absolutely be following your posts. This poem is amazing and hit very close to home as this last week just ended with my kiddos. AHHHH! :) I don't know how we can do we what we do without God's guidance. Bless you! I look forward to reading more from you.

-Tye

Amber Huber said...

Hi Heather!
Thanks so much for commenting on my blog and for being my first follower! I have 8 more days of school left and then I am planning on getting my blog up and running. I love your blog and thank you so much for offering to help me out. I am sure that I am going to need lots of help so I apologize in advance if I ask you a million questions!!! I printed off your lovely poems. I am going to share them with my co-workers. I think that we all need some words of encouragement to make it through these final days with our kiddos!
Your poems were very inspirational. Great work!!!

chalk talk speech therapy said...

Hi Heather, Thanks for reminding me to remember where people come from. As I was getting cussed out by a mother with intelligence of a 2nd grader, it was all I could do to walk her to the office of our super small school and hold my tongue. As a 39 year old woman and mother myself...Had the luxary of calling my MOM. She said "hon, you have to remember where people come from, and this lady reacted in the only way she new how and what she has lived..." "remember how lucky we are to have the life we have, because you can look over your sholder and find someone who is not so lucky." I love my mom...and this just reinforced those thoughts.
thanks for following my blog at
chalktalkspeechtherapy.blogspot.com and as far as I can tell, I think I am following you back...Alicia

Anne Tussing said...

Awesome post, Heather! I'm putting this book on my reading list for school. I totally agree with your philosophy and understand your frustrations!! I'm following you back!! Thanks for the sweet comment.

beachliesl said...

Thank you for sharing your creativity. :) This poem says so many things I feel. I start the year doing well, with lots of patience, and then...halfway thru...it is sometimes hard to take that deep breath and smile. Thank you for sharing your poem--I will print it and keep it in a special place to help me remember my soft heart.

Liesl
http://wildworldofkindergarten.blogspot.com/

Ivania said...

This just about brought tears to my eyes! Thanks so much for this, Heather. You are not only touching the children's lives but a large amount of teachers' lives as well.

Ann Spencer said...

I hope you don't mind, but I copied your poem on my blog -- I need to read it every day!!