Can I Drive You Crazy? Conscious Discipline: Composure

You are driving me CRAZY!

Don't make me have to call your momma!

GO TO THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think we have all had days and moments when we need a break from a kiddo. There might be times when you want to tell that student if they were your child what exactly would be happening. And we have all had a kiddo who is gifted in pushing our buttons.

Chapter 1 in Conscious Discipline is all about composure and remembering that "no one can make you angry without your permission". p. 25

I will admit that I have had moments when "Becky Bailey has left the building" and taken ALL of my composure with her. Even this past year, I dragged sweetly escorted one of my toots sweeties and plopped gently sat him down in my neighbor's room.

I then remembered that I "need to be the person that I want others to become". p. 25

But I also know that is not easy to do when you have a kiddo who is:

*walking around the room kicking chairs while everyone else is on the group rug

*running and shoving to get in line even when the child knows she is not the line leader

*yelling at the top of their lungs "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!"
*cutting his glue stick into teeny, tiny pieces

*calling other students names and then laughing at them

Here is a biggie to think about:

"Whomever you have placed in charge of your feelings, you have placed in control of you."  p. 28

This is when I try and remind myself over and over to have a Heart of Patience. God has placed each one of these babies in my room for a reason.

We all have an image in our mind about how we think a "good student" should behave and our expectations for them. But many of our kiddos come to school operating with a whole different set of rules. We become upset when they don't meet those expectations, especially after we have gone over them and over them again and again. We need to remember that the only person you can change is yourself.

Often when we start feeling stressed we start having trigger thoughts that make the situation seem 1,000 times worse. These thoughts often lead to blame but more importantly they keep us from really seeing the problem others are having. There are actually 3 different kinds of trigger thoughts: pp. 30-31

*assumed intent: The child is doing this to deliberately upset you.

*magnification: We are making and seeing the situation waayy worse than it really is

*labeling: We start using negative words to describe the child and/or his behavior

GUILTY
GUILTY
GUILTY

ME
ME
ME

BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT!!!!!

When you start having these trigger thoughts tell your brain to STOP and look beyond the child's behavior. Before you is a child who is crying out for help and love.

There are some activities in the book that are wonderful for helping you change these thoughts. The book also has another activity to help remove your "buttons" that the children push. If you have the book, be sure and do these before school starts.

Since keeping our composure helps create a safe classroom, Chapter 1 begins teaching the different breathing techniques. These are great for you and the kiddos to practice. You can grab the different icons here:

My favorites are the balloon and S.T.A.R.

Stop

Take a deep breath

And

Relax

As you STAR, tell yourself that you are safe. You are calm. And you can handle this. The only way you will help a child learn new tools to handle a situation is if you stay calm and patient. "Self control is an act of love and a moment-by-moment choice." p. 34

Here is a little poster to help remind you about staying calm and maintaining your composure.

I hope this helps get your mind ready for laying the foundation for Conscious Discipline in your classroom. The change starts with YOU. =)

I will try my best to blog very soon about how I start the year off with CD in my classroom. For those of you who have emailed me, I will get back to you this week. If you have any questions, please ask. I want my next few CD posts to be as helpful to you as I can make them. =)

Before I go, here is a little *freebie*. =)

I have been busy giving my classroom an Extreme Makeover! I am so excited to share pictures with you soon. =)

From My Heart to Yours,