Friday, January 4, 2013

Calming the Storms

I went up to school today hoping the Room Fairy had performed miracles and gotten everything cleaned and ready for me. She must have gone back to the North Pole with Jingles our elf.

I actually think my room was dirtier than before I left...

But that could be because too many days in my pajamas has made me a little slow to process what reality looks like when I leave the house.

I am sad to say that I am not sure what all I acomplished??!!??!!

On my drive home, all of the tears I have been holding back came flowing out. This is not good for a 25 minute drive home when it is getting dark outside. I thought at one point I might have to pull over because I was crying so hard.

2 people I love very much are dying. My heart is breaking. When I see my 3 nieces beginning to understand what it is like to lose someone you love, it makes my heart break even harder.

Although I have a sense of peace because they are believers, that doesn't make things any easier.

I love my kiddos and our sweet School Family. I have tons of ideas and activities I am ready to do with them...but then a memory pops into my mind and my heart breaks and the tears come then becomes not where my mind or heart is.

My grief and hurting hurt will go with me on Monday morning. It is not something I can leave in the car before I go inside. Our kiddos are like this too. They cannot leave their problems at home. They follow them into our classrooms each day. These problems often are not shared with us in big heart to heart talks. These problems and worries show up in other ways. We have to be ready to listen. One of my favorite thoughts from Conscious Discipline is Our children are either extending love or asking for love.

We don't understand and will never understand tragedies and sad times. God calls us to lean not on our own understanding but acknowledge Him.

God hears our prayers...He might just have a different answer to them than the one we want. In the broken times, God is working on our hearts...when we lean on Him, we can have the strength to make it through the storms.

When I am going through hard times or I am praying for others going through a hard time, I always think of this song. I think God uses us at times to help Him calm the storms.

Remember, we all have storms we face...especially our kiddos who won't have their raincoats and umbrellas to tell us to look out. We don't have to pretend to be strong for them. They need to know that regardless of what they think we don't have superpowers...our hearts break too.

Treasure your little ones on Monday. Hug tight and hold on to your loved ones. Be there for others through the storms of life...wipe the tears and the rain. Remember God's promise of the rainbow.

From My Heart to Yours,

43 heart notes:

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loularkin said...

So Sorry you are facing difficult times. I pray that you can lean in and feel His comfort.

Collaboration Cuties said...

My heart goes out to you. I will be praying for you and your family. Beautiful poem!

Collaboration Cuties

Jessica Fredrickson said...

Many prayers from my heart for you Heather, for strength and for bravery and for two miracles.

Fun in PreK-1

Amanda said...

It's so true that we can not just turn our emotions off at school. I was having a hard time in November and one day while taking a bathroom break another teacher said to me "How's it going?" and I burst into tears. My students knew something was up before that even happened, but quite a few came over and gave me a hug. I am sorry you are going through a difficult time right now. I will be praying for you and your family. I love though that through this difficult time you are turning to God!

Mrs. Pauley’s Kindergarten

TeacherChicks said...

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Losing our loved ones is the hardest thing we wil ever have to face. But we are not alone. My brother was killed a few years ago and though the pain never goes away, Jesus gets me through a little more each day. My favorite song is Homesick by Mercy Me. I hope it brings you some comfort that, " Christ there are no goodbyes.." I love that you talk openly about your faith on your blog! It is very encouraging!
3 Teacher Chicks

Bea said...

Thank you for sharing. I am sorry you have to go through hard times now. I pray God give you more strength to endure as I know you already are strong and resilient. Hang in there. Hugs...

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Faith Wheeler said...

Sorry you had a rough day. Losing people you love is never easy and you are right. Sometimes our kids are going through these same things. Saying a prayer for you now.

Brandi said...

I feel your pain Heather! I can remember having to duck into a closet because I suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably when my dad was dying of cancer. It is so hard to strike the balance between showing the kids your true feelings and not distracting from the task at hand. It was brave of you to post this:) In our bloggy community out here it is rare to see someone post such an honest and sincere post about what really can happen while you are teaching. You are so right that the kids are going through things like this that we may not even know about!


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A Tale of 2 First Grades said...


Your post and song could not have came at a better time, we just found out yesterday that my mom in law has cancer. :( I am a believer of devine intervention, I was brought to your blog today for a reason, comfort.


Karyn said...

Sorry to hear about what you're going through Heather. I'm praying for you and sending you hugs.

Kelly said...

Heather, your post brought me to tears. It is so difficult to strike a balance between your emotions and your job, but I'm sure you do it beautifully. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. And, thank you for your beautiful words and inspiration.

First Grade Fairytales

Ann Spencer said...

Your thoughts -- and song -- touched my heart. Thank you for sharing. I pray God will give you strength during these difficult days.

Ems72314 said...

Heather, so sorry you are hurting ! Sending prayers for you, your family and your two loved ones facing difficulties. Following your blog I can see you are a kind and loving soul which undoubtedly makes you a great teacher sensitive to others' needs.Praying for two miracles for your loved ones. Please keep us updated as we care about you. I feel your pain because I too have lost a brother, mother and dad. I am sure the happy times with your class will give you balance in your life and some relief and comfort. The love and laughter of children is good medicine and heals our hurting hearts!

Heidi Foster said...

Heather, I feel for you. Several years ago, I too went through a difficult year similar to yours. I'm praying for you too. When you go back to school, your kiddies will some how touch you differently, almost in a healing way. Stay strong in your faith and you will get through this.

Mrs. Bartel's School Family (Alyce) said...

I have no idea how this would feel. I'm so sorry for the losses you and your loved ones are facing. I will keep you in my prayers.

Amy J said...

Sending prayers your way, Heather. You have a unique ability to share your sweet spirit and kind heart through your posts and comments and it breaks MY heart to know you are hurting. Prayers and hope for peace for you and your family!


Becky said...

I am so sorry you are going through so much. I am glad that you are relying on God through it all because He does have a plan and a purpose and will carry you through the hard times.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

Compassionate Teacher

Kinderkids said...

Heather, I will pray for you and your friends. I hope that being back with your students next week will provide you with some comfort, peace, and joy.

Jill said...

Heather, I am so sorry for your hard times, you are such an inspiration to so many. God will see you through this hard time.

Sharon McBee said...

So sorry for all that you are going through....many prayers coming your way!

Buggy for First Grade

Linda said...

Oh, Heather I'm so sorry for your sadness. You and those close to you in my thoughts and prayers.

I love the thought that our children are either extending love or asking for important to remember!

Thinking of you during your sad time, friend.

Erin Sample said...

I will be praying for you and your loved ones. I hope going back will give you a little distraction during the day. Being around young children can be so healing. It's one of the many blessings of our profession. Your posts always remind me of this. Thank you!
Sample’s Superstars

KinderKapers said...

I am sorry your heart is breaking, but thank you for the wonderful reminder that our children may be in pain as well. We sometimes are the answer to someone else's prayer.

Terri Izatt

Kinder Kiddo said...

Sending you lots of thoughts and prayers!!

Stephanie Manley

Rae said...

It is with difficult times that we must persevere and utilize the strength and love we have inside our hearts. What a compassionate and thought-provoking post. My thoughts and support are with you through these difficult times.


Shannon Kirby said...

Thank you for always sharing your heart. You seem to be such a special person and without knowing you my heart is sad for you. I will be lifting you up in my prayers this evening.
Sweet n Sassy in 2nd

Heidi Harrell said...


I don't know you but my heart is hurting for you and I am praying for your heartache. This was a beautiful post. The car is my place to cry too. You are so right that our babies carry grief with them into our rooms. I love your take on this and I will take the message with me to my room on Tuesday morning when my babies come back to me!

vicky1970 said...

Oh Heather....
You have me crying right now. That song spoke to me often in 2007 when I lost my precious mom and best friend to cancer...and a host of other horrible things happened that year as well. He definitely calmed the child in those situtations because the storms just brewed on that year. Thank you for posting this and reminding me of God's faithfulness. Hugs to you and what you are going through...but I must agree. We are so blessed to call upon HIM and know that we will again see our loved ones one day. My mom and I will have a blast in heaven someday...just sayin! xoxo
Traditions, Laughter and Happily Ever After

Kinderloves said...

Heather , I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you. I am kinda in the same boat. Even though, I havent lost a family member, well kinda. My precious pet just passed a day ago and I'm heart broken. Your post made me feel that at the end , everything is in God's hand. Thank you for your post, I have found such comfort in it.

Kim said...

I am following you again! :) Your sweet post made me laugh and tear up. Losing a loved one is the hardest part of life. We are left to wonder what could have been. Memories become so very precious. Another reminder to make every day count! Your lovely personality shines through on your blog and I am so glad I met you! May your faith carry you through these hard times!

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Haley said...

You have such a gentle, kind spirit. I'm so sorry you are going through this. What a precious reminder for the rest of us to cherish those around us, and to be what our babies need, when they need it. Thank you for the inspiratioN!

Pinkadots said...

Love your blog! Happy New Year! I love how you have the room fairy! ;) I have a desk fairy that leaves Hershey Kisses and notes in the desks of clean little boys and girls!
Pinkadots Elementary

Jazzmin said...

Hi Heather,
The Lord is certainly with you through it all. It is so hard to see others suffering or in poor health, and I can relate to seeing someone dying. I'm so sorry for your heartache.
I just wanted to say that your post is beautiful and your blog is lovely. The comforts and beautiful expressions of faith are so encouraging. I want to be a 1st grade teacher and enjoy your blog because of that also.

I look forward to more of your posts. God Bless you!


Roxanne Sterling said...

Hi Heather,
May Almighty GOD continue to be your strength. May He comfort you at this difficult period during your walk with Him for He is only using you. Let us give thanks unto the LORD, for He is good and His mercies endureth forever.

My sister in Christ, be strong and remember that GOD knows best.

Take care and be blessed.